In a bubble....

We all jump over hurdles and come to cross roads. We all see the sign No Exit at one point. Then again, with time... we see that shining light. Some of us just sit there and longingly stare with thought and wonder and some of us pop our bubble of protection and leap into the unknown.

My daughter has her Kindergarten graduation today. Before I know it, she will be wearing the Mortar Board of tomorrow in the year 2020.

Frazzled

All this mess is done with and now... I am left to get my family back on track. Routines... normal emotions, kids things. Brandon's sensei has told me he is ready to test for his Yellow belt. I just have to make sure he gets there to class. Hopefully life will be more calm so I can get there.

Having this time with family in such a dire situation really puts things into perspective. That perspective being... you'll love them but they will drive you crazy.

We'll start with my brother... I never thought someone's ideals and manner of going about life would confuse me so much. First, there's the way he approaches his wife, the fact she's in a coma and his new "fiancee", yes there is a ring already. He lives life without a care, she is already dead in his eyes and there is no sign of remourse or even mourning. When the fact is, she seems to be slowly improving. He has already written her off as no problem of his even though there have been no papers filed as of yet. Then, there was his peculiar behavior about my grandmother's belongings. Going through things and jumping at the chance to give something to his new girl. Who, by the way probably didn't even know my Grandma's name. He seemed totally detached from any emotion other than neediness towards his fiancee.

At home, I was screaming for some privacy. I just wanted to be on the phone or on the computer doing my own thing without someone right there looking and watching and asking about it.

Granted, I loved spending time with them. I just wish there is a happy medium hehe.

Now, I am at a loss as to where to start this new less stressfull routine to life. Today has been pretty quiet and nice!

So here I sit... Iowa blog part 1

It's all over and now, my house has the most family it has ever had under one roof. It's been so terribly sad yet a wonderful blessing all at the same time. This Earth is without one of the most precious souls now. Truly, an angel. She was always helping everyone. One of the few women who have shaped who I am today. The trip was bittersweet. I saw many many family members that I probably haven't seen since I was a baby. I saw my cousins and my aunt and uncle and things just seemed to fit back into place as to where we used to be. We were bonded over one simple fact, we loved this woman like crazy. I will never forget her voice. Always telling me she could "squeeze me to pieces" or that she was "tickled pink to see me." I left with several monetary symbols of her and every piece has a story. The wedding ring she wore for the past 20 years faithfully after my Grandpa, the love of her life ... "her Arnold..." had passed on and the mother's ring. The wedding ring is actually both my grandpa's and my grandma's put together into one ring. I love it. It's so very special and when I wear it, I feel her with me. Some pearls, a recipe box she used in Home Ec class in 1932. The smell of aged paper upon it. A few crystal serving bowls, an old apron and the small crystal angel music box that my mother sent her in her last days to bring comfort. I will miss her but she is definitely with me.